hd moodswings

Had to clean my smell camping toilet today since there where really bad. Once they were empty i tired to clean them but because I'm a obese beast i couldn't sit properly i couldn't move the bits to get cleaned i wasn't strong enough. I was getting so angry at myself and putting my self down. I was trying but every minute could to do it so i asked byron for scrubbing brush because i couldn't get up he didn't bring me what I needed so i got up yelled at him got brush. I was angry with myself.  On the way back to the outback bathroom area dad was coming to see what is up. I told him i was angry leave me alone. I want back trying to scrub these stupid toilet. Dad was there i keep telling him to leave but he won't so my angry went from putting myself down to yelling at dad. I even through the stupid toilet i was so frustrated with him not listening to me and leaving like i screamed. He wasn't letting me carm down. The toilet hit the water pump needs new bracket. I was so angry after the 7th time i told him to leave he walks away saying he should call the police and have me commited. He made me feel like such a bad person hurt my feelings so when he left i shut the door layed in the bath tub. Told for ever to carm down enough. Told tim to bring back cigarettes. I so needed one. If he left me the first time i asked i would of went back to cleaning and putting myself down screaming at myself and carmed myself down like normal.  I have fucking Huntington's disease i should be made to feel like a insane person. My brain isn't normal gets smaller every fucking day. Huntington's disease is killing my brain keep that in mind. I have tried over 20 depression tablets none of work for me. Since Australia is so far behind on weed there is nothing i can do.  Moodswings are huge part of my hd. Frustration is high for me everyday with anxiety and panic attacks.