never-ending

We need 2 new axles for our caravan which we live full time. We registered in caravan in September so we could travel the many kilometres to Toowoomba for a family wedding. We had problems with 1 bearing. Had to  fix asap so we could m ove into next camp ground which was 1 4YDweek drive 30kms out of Toowoomba. We ended up broke down not far from Toowoomba on the side of highway while hubby went got the bearing. At dalby we had to replace the other 2 bearing. Just to make it home. Since being home we have had a lot of trouble with our batteries not charging or the solar panels trouble. Not having our fridge working. We didn't realise our fridge not working the day after our weekly food shop. Our food went off no money for a week. Not working was the problem cause our solar keep burning fuse out. The local solar guy was away only got to talk to him today and now tim knows what went wrong and how to fix. The guy said it would be $1500 to buy parts and fix it. Tim looked online found the parts but not much cheaper. Then today found out our axle need fixing tim is trying to find a cheaper way but not having a choice going the cheap way and if he Can borrow a bigger generator too use the welder to weld together parts which he is using which parts we have here and no brakes. The guy in emerald wants $750 each axle. It it's the safest and quickest way to have axle that way it done for once and all. Of course it rains tonight with axle out. Everything is such a puzzle. 

We have had the caravan for over year and half now we still have so much to do 

Table and 2 chairs 

Tv cupboard so it raises when needed 

Shelf in clothes area 

Door board

Screen for windows and doors 

Hot water system 

Shower and toilet area needs finishing 

Shoes rack

Our floor are as old as the caravan need some linoleum 

Need a good pet vacuum 

Not much to mention lots and lots of under coat and paint over all the new and old bit which needs lots of Borg to fill up all the holes 

Need to put our solar panels on the roof 

Need storage containers for food and things for kitchens so it's organised fit better

And so on 

We really want to be with family for Christmas it's been so long since we had Christmas together with so many kilometres between us. Even booked a week with 2 sisters to spend Christmas time and not far from all our families. But with the axle problems i don't see it happening and solar problem we live out in the bush we run generator at daytime only solar should keep everything that needs it running but we don't have the money too fix solar power problems. 

My car needs looking at it's making funny noise it was broken down for 5 weeks this year and now needs more help. If it wasn't on car loan i would get rid of it. We need a car badly being in the bush. We have had to use app to pay for things for the caravan and car too pay-off the money to keep everything going. 

Having Huntington's is so bad the u add more stress everything day is a battle too be alive. I don't want to get out of bed most morning let alone take care of things.

I don't even know how we are going to pay Christmas for my 4 beautiful babies 

Being a mama is a wonderful but the stress of giving them things they need clothes shoes food not to mention the stress of keeping them safe from terrible people and animals that could hurt them out here. I'm failing every day I'm so stressed thinking about all the things they need too be clothed feed  we survived on noddles and toastie not much food the bed keeps getting mouldy can't afford fresh bread from servo 

Every week I think don't worry next week wil be better but that never happened. We got 5 payments  behind in the car loan to help but it was never enough.

My life is a never-ending shit storm that will never end. My depression aren't working they never have simce age 16 20 different ones. I have hope i use to have it but broke just like everything else. 

Christmas magic is so special I love Christmas everything the movies family food santa church and this year i just want to bury head and run away. I'm normally watch movies before Halloween decorations up after and look forward to all the Christmas spirit and magic makes my heart flutter. 

Please heavenly father make this Christmas surrounded by our multi families eating laughing and being happy Amen

I went so badly for mum chrildren to be together for the Christmas spirit ' so when she is watching from heaven she always had to be happy with all the stupid people in there lives to stop and let all her children to be happy not just for Christmas but year around. Amen