My food allergies and daily problems fears

The truth about food allergies. They can arrange from slight upset tummy to raging gastro like symptoms where your all the toilet for 4-5 hours or going too the toilet every hour for days. By the time you have everything out of your system you are so exhausted your body is broken you just want to lay or sit in comfy place with comfort. But  the toilet shower times are just the start. I have anxiety about my food allergies and don't want to leave the house. I'm so scared about going out and not being near a  clean safe toilet where i can wash my hands. Yes i carry spares in my car just incase but it doesn't ease the anxiety or help my fear of germs. It's no way to live i miss out on so much. And if all that wasn't enough i have watch everything i eat because i don't know what causes them. I went to hospital had both ends looked at and they suggested to go to my doctor get a referral for a dietitian and start a FODMAP diet. Which i did months ago they take suton foods away for awhile the re introduction them. It has worked for my because i don't know if it the normal stuff or the new stuff upsetting my tummy. All the food allergy test i have are expensive or don't know if its legit. So all my food problems isn't enough with the constant fears anxiety with them. I have a gluttony problem with food im morbidly obese and eat my emotions i can't help this addiction no matter how much i try i don't eat big meals but snack all day constantly. It all started when i quit smoking 9 years ago. I have never admitted my problems expect to my physiotherapist dr scott. Only tim truly knows what i eat. No matter how much i hate my size or how ashamed I feel. I can't stop. Ive tired so hard the best i have done is 2 weeks when i first went to the dietitian but was still snacking. I know it isn't helping my body but i can't stop my emotional eating addiction. I huntington's disease which effects me in many ways it's hard enough to get out of bed everyday which I don't. It's sad the kids see my in bed and say mum sick again. I try so hard from they. I try and put a smile on my face or laugh pretend im ok but inside im screaming. Depression anxiety fears social phobia mental illness is just the tip of the iceberg. If that all wasn't enough I'm in so much pain tailbone back spurs sciatic nerve. I can't stand or sit too long. I have no constitution lack energy no motivation lack of interest very short attention span. My brain is very slow at processing. We dream to travel Australia as a family in our caravan and be a strong unit for 10 years until i get so sick i will need constant help. All i want is to be with my family and make strong memories. Having them at school only leaves so many hours for family time. What better way the traveling around Australia and home schooling. That is our dream but i feel it will never happen. We need the caravan setup for free camping which we will need to use alot with so many of us. I have prayed so hard for my food allergies and to have my dreams come true. But it hasn't happened yet. I have lost alot of faith in myself and feel im not worthy enough to be lucky enough to have my dreams come true. Most of you won't read until the end but for those have thank you for trying to understand me and for listening. Please send prayers my/our way. We need the caravan ready and registered for September holidays for grandpa 80th birthday. Last time we went away camping in tents. i was so sick and had no privacy or comfort. I have a fear of having do it again. My anxiety turns into a panic attack just thinking about it. I can't do it again im so scared and stressed. I'm having no sleep because I'm so stressed. I'm so exhausted. I need a miracle of money. Pray for me.
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Life moments

Im so lucky i have 4 beautiful children each eqiue on their own. Beth is a such a wonderful cheeky girl always on the go. Making us smile. Whether it's putting my purfume on or watching kids tv. She makes our family complete. So glad she came into our lives. Since she has our bond as a family it strong just like their sibling love. Wyatt is  full on with smile to get his way. He can be very difficult at times but then there is moments when he is so loving and happy well behaved. Cooking with us the other day or being very useful actually wanting to help. Mione is so very much emotional. She can change in a heartbeat. She was spoilted more as a toddler with her speech problems but she is strong person. Always trying to get her way. She has a strong personality. Sometimes very bitchy already has a additude. She never thinks before she speaks or acts. She wonderful at caring. Byron is a lazy unmotivated boy with additude. He is a smartarse like his father. He is well like boy at school wonderful student. Always helpful. All of them different but same sometimes. It's such a wonderful job to be their mama im so proud of my children. I love doing craft cooking watching movies dancing parks being apart of their school life listening too them having family cuddles tickle wars colouring. I'm so lucky that they came in mylife it has made me a better person. Loving them unconditionally has giving me meaning to being a mama. They are the reason i get up everyday. I have the most outstanding caring loving husband. He loves me no matter what i look like. He loves my bad habits. Im so lucky to have in mylife standing next to me. I'm so proud of him and our marriage. We strong together and everyday we try to make each other happy and give each other what we need. If feels like we have been together forever.

Only downside of mylife is huntington's disease and everything to it destroys in its wake. Life is too short.

My biggest dream

Cure huntington's disease

Australian government needs to wake up and help us hd families

Hd is slowly killing my brain. Sometimes hours are good but not many. I have 4 different kinds of days. Moods
1. Peachy happy can do anything( doesn't happen very often)
2. Ok but don't want too deal with the world. But will do what i have too.
3. Not ok can't deal with anything at all
4. Dark days happen often nothing is good. All i have bad thoughts. No hope and can't see myself. No control over my actions. My world is ripped apart.
My depression is a horrible thing. I have tried so many different depression tablets over the years. Just before i got pregnant with annabeth i was happy and on a tablet. I have stayed on that tablet for 3 years upping the dosage until i hit the max. It makes me really tired and doesn't help with my depression at all. Its not working and im too scared to go through all the crap to find another one so i stayed on it. I have no hope with depression tablets because I have had so much bad luck with them over the last 12+years. I wish i could try cannabis oil like my American hd family's. It really sucks seeing all these new aids to help us hd people but not being able to access them.  I really hate for my kids to see me in these moods and hate snappy at my family. Yes iam cranky and can't help it. But remember when im cranky i don't mean to be. I love my family heaps. Hd isn't just killing me brain it's killing my relationships with my loved ones.
Huntington's disease awareness is so important and maybe one day the Australian government will catch up and realize we need to able to try new drugs to help us copy with this horrible fucking disease. My mum died at 51 years my aunty died at 49years. Their mum died around the same age. Please help the thousands of families with hd. Share make hd awareness and let them fully understand what we go through everyday.  Everyday that we don't have new drugs to help us copy with our daily lives they are distroying families. It's our right as human beings to deside what we what to try in our lives not the governments.

We need hd awareness in Australia

In Australia no one knows about hd. We need more support here in Australia but we won't get it without awareness. we need to help us please. I went through a lot of shit with trying to get services for my mum because the people we are dealing with had no clue what hd is. She was under the age of 50 when trying to get services to came out to help her. It took 1 year to get 1 agency to came out and shower her for me. Thousands of loop poles and in the end you don't get much help. Government is the worst for not helping our hd people because they have no clue about the bullshit struggles we go through everyday. we need help or this will never change.