My food allergies and daily problems fears

The truth about food allergies. They can arrange from slight upset tummy to raging gastro like symptoms where your all the toilet for 4-5 hours or going too the toilet every hour for days. By the time you have everything out of your system you are so exhausted your body is broken you just want to lay or sit in comfy place with comfort. But  the toilet shower times are just the start. I have anxiety about my food allergies and don't want to leave the house. I'm so scared about going out and not being near a  clean safe toilet where i can wash my hands. Yes i carry spares in my car just incase but it doesn't ease the anxiety or help my fear of germs. It's no way to live i miss out on so much. And if all that wasn't enough i have watch everything i eat because i don't know what causes them. I went to hospital had both ends looked at and they suggested to go to my doctor get a referral for a dietitian and start a FODMAP diet. Which i did months ago they take suton foods away for awhile the re introduction them. It has worked for my because i don't know if it the normal stuff or the new stuff upsetting my tummy. All the food allergy test i have are expensive or don't know if its legit. So all my food problems isn't enough with the constant fears anxiety with them. I have a gluttony problem with food im morbidly obese and eat my emotions i can't help this addiction no matter how much i try i don't eat big meals but snack all day constantly. It all started when i quit smoking 9 years ago. I have never admitted my problems expect to my physiotherapist dr scott. Only tim truly knows what i eat. No matter how much i hate my size or how ashamed I feel. I can't stop. Ive tired so hard the best i have done is 2 weeks when i first went to the dietitian but was still snacking. I know it isn't helping my body but i can't stop my emotional eating addiction. I huntington's disease which effects me in many ways it's hard enough to get out of bed everyday which I don't. It's sad the kids see my in bed and say mum sick again. I try so hard from they. I try and put a smile on my face or laugh pretend im ok but inside im screaming. Depression anxiety fears social phobia mental illness is just the tip of the iceberg. If that all wasn't enough I'm in so much pain tailbone back spurs sciatic nerve. I can't stand or sit too long. I have no constitution lack energy no motivation lack of interest very short attention span. My brain is very slow at processing. We dream to travel Australia as a family in our caravan and be a strong unit for 10 years until i get so sick i will need constant help. All i want is to be with my family and make strong memories. Having them at school only leaves so many hours for family time. What better way the traveling around Australia and home schooling. That is our dream but i feel it will never happen. We need the caravan setup for free camping which we will need to use alot with so many of us. I have prayed so hard for my food allergies and to have my dreams come true. But it hasn't happened yet. I have lost alot of faith in myself and feel im not worthy enough to be lucky enough to have my dreams come true. Most of you won't read until the end but for those have thank you for trying to understand me and for listening. Please send prayers my/our way. We need the caravan ready and registered for September holidays for grandpa 80th birthday. Last time we went away camping in tents. i was so sick and had no privacy or comfort. I have a fear of having do it again. My anxiety turns into a panic attack just thinking about it. I can't do it again im so scared and stressed. I'm having no sleep because I'm so stressed. I'm so exhausted. I need a miracle of money. Pray for me.
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Jhd awareness

Juvenile huntington's disease is harder than hd. It ripes family's apart at such a young age. People with hd give there children 50% of getting hd. You don't know if your child will have juvenile hd until it happens. It's my biggest fear that my kids will develop jhd and having their lives ripped apart. I like for signs of jhd all the time. As I'm starting my hd journey at 32 it's hard enough for me but to see my kids develop it while they are kids would tear me apart. 13 years ago when i started my family i wish i knew what i do today and i would make sure they had no chance of having hd. Hd free chrildren. I feel guilty everyday that i gave my kids a chance at having these horrible disease. Not to mention the crap they are going to go through the few years while hd takes my brain and body. And they won't understand me.

My wish/dream

I wish for $5000 to $10000 for our car and caravan (we are building).  We have been trying to build our caravan for 3yrs. We can't afford a newer one that fits us 6. We have been paying off our 1st car loan then we had to renew our car loan to buy a new one cause our old we were constantly putting money into it. And  now our new car is doing the same. It's a neverending story we our cars.
Our dream is too make memories with my 4 kids by traveling Australia until i need to be put into full time care. I feel that while the kids are at school i only get to spend a few hours before and after school. Homeschooling while traveling i could be with them fulltime and make many memories with them before huntington's disease takes my brain and body. There isn't enough time left before i can't tell them i love them and hug them. Days just fly by and i don't feel i have done enough.
I want the next 5 to 10 years to mean something not just letting time fly by that's why we brought the caravan 3yrs ago but on limited money we can only do so much. I feel so torn today. All i want is a safe car and caravan to travel Australia and make memories with my family.

Hd sucks

When you find out when another family has hd you feel heartbroken and wonder will any of our 2 families be free.
All i want is rhe next generation to be hd free. It would be along journey with many heartbreaks but worth it to have hd free babies.
I feel like i did the wrong thing have kids with a chance of having the worst disease. I wish i gave them freedom to live but i didn't make that choice and regret it everyday.
My youngest 2 won't remember me when i get full on sick. They will only know th e sick me.
My only hope is to teach them about hd and make sure they have hd free kids. I couldn't bear to have grandchildren with hd.

Hd free kids

I have always wanted a huge family. But hd has stopped that. We have 4 children and have stopped having anymore. But i can't stop thinking about having more children that are hd free. Is it so selfish of me too want a couple of my children that are hd free and can help their siblings if need be. I always thought i would have a whole tribe but hd has taken that from me because with every pregnancy my mental health gets a little worse. I just can't stop dreaming of more children. I wanted 20 at one stage but would settle for 2 or 3 more. I wish i could afford ivf so i only have to have 1 more pregnancy twins or triples hd free would make my dreams come true. I was born to be a mama and have so much love to give.

Why should we have to wait until our kids turn 18

I think it's unfair that i have to wait until our kids turn 18 to get tested for hd. It's our right as parents to find out. We could prepare them better. There isn't a time that i wish i knew.

Huntington's queensland

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=928232347342509&id=422032437962505

Huntington's queensland

https://www.facebook.com/huntingtonsqld/?ti=as

Hd process

Hd sucks

Biggest regret

I regret not having hd free kids. Until you fully get into it you don't know shit about how bad it is and how hard it is to watch loved ones become monster of the horrible disease.
I wish for everyone that had hd has hd free kids and ends this never-ending disease that distroys families.
I going to making sure my kids understand it and make my grandbabies hd free.
I struggle everyday with this disease someday can't get out of bed. The depression part is so overwhelming. I hate living this way.