My food allergies and daily problems fears

The truth about food allergies. They can arrange from slight upset tummy to raging gastro like symptoms where your all the toilet for 4-5 hours or going too the toilet every hour for days. By the time you have everything out of your system you are so exhausted your body is broken you just want to lay or sit in comfy place with comfort. But  the toilet shower times are just the start. I have anxiety about my food allergies and don't want to leave the house. I'm so scared about going out and not being near a  clean safe toilet where i can wash my hands. Yes i carry spares in my car just incase but it doesn't ease the anxiety or help my fear of germs. It's no way to live i miss out on so much. And if all that wasn't enough i have watch everything i eat because i don't know what causes them. I went to hospital had both ends looked at and they suggested to go to my doctor get a referral for a dietitian and start a FODMAP diet. Which i did months ago they take suton foods away for awhile the re introduction them. It has worked for my because i don't know if it the normal stuff or the new stuff upsetting my tummy. All the food allergy test i have are expensive or don't know if its legit. So all my food problems isn't enough with the constant fears anxiety with them. I have a gluttony problem with food im morbidly obese and eat my emotions i can't help this addiction no matter how much i try i don't eat big meals but snack all day constantly. It all started when i quit smoking 9 years ago. I have never admitted my problems expect to my physiotherapist dr scott. Only tim truly knows what i eat. No matter how much i hate my size or how ashamed I feel. I can't stop. Ive tired so hard the best i have done is 2 weeks when i first went to the dietitian but was still snacking. I know it isn't helping my body but i can't stop my emotional eating addiction. I huntington's disease which effects me in many ways it's hard enough to get out of bed everyday which I don't. It's sad the kids see my in bed and say mum sick again. I try so hard from they. I try and put a smile on my face or laugh pretend im ok but inside im screaming. Depression anxiety fears social phobia mental illness is just the tip of the iceberg. If that all wasn't enough I'm in so much pain tailbone back spurs sciatic nerve. I can't stand or sit too long. I have no constitution lack energy no motivation lack of interest very short attention span. My brain is very slow at processing. We dream to travel Australia as a family in our caravan and be a strong unit for 10 years until i get so sick i will need constant help. All i want is to be with my family and make strong memories. Having them at school only leaves so many hours for family time. What better way the traveling around Australia and home schooling. That is our dream but i feel it will never happen. We need the caravan setup for free camping which we will need to use alot with so many of us. I have prayed so hard for my food allergies and to have my dreams come true. But it hasn't happened yet. I have lost alot of faith in myself and feel im not worthy enough to be lucky enough to have my dreams come true. Most of you won't read until the end but for those have thank you for trying to understand me and for listening. Please send prayers my/our way. We need the caravan ready and registered for September holidays for grandpa 80th birthday. Last time we went away camping in tents. i was so sick and had no privacy or comfort. I have a fear of having do it again. My anxiety turns into a panic attack just thinking about it. I can't do it again im so scared and stressed. I'm having no sleep because I'm so stressed. I'm so exhausted. I need a miracle of money. Pray for me.
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