No one understands what im going through my left me and never coming home left and doesn't care about he has a new life now with his aunt. They can give him everything we can't afford. We are just an after thought he has a job got 2 weeks he didn't tell us he still wouldn't had if i did ring him. He doesn't ring us or tell us anything. We don't know what going on in his live .he had a girl who cheated with his best mate he didn't tell us . Im broken and im sick of people telling me how to feel. 

can u spare $5

We live without running hot water shower toilet electricity our 12v fridge can't handle the 50+ degrees heat. Not air conditioning only 12v car fan no heating for freezing winter. Local say we have 3 month of winter 9 month of summer it so hot and not good for sick people.

Could u spare $5 to support colley family 

#suicidal #mentalhealth #huntingtonsdiseaseawareness #familylove #familyismeanttosupporteachother #curehd #life #fuckhd #everyonematters #imnotok #anxiety #depressionisnotajoke 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0mg3okefq8vZAhKo9uxXfNiKVK9L1LGY5B3yXqA7ChcVFwiCP4xTM8pUnGJS3pxxLl&id=100000694335557&sfnsn=mo&mibextid=ziJpKh

lost and broken no one cares

I don't think we will be moving back no money lots of debt, need caravan 

fixed, truck fixed, no moving money no bond or deposit for house i have only sold 7 items all up. My plans not working selling at markets and on Facebook isn't working out. Ive just failed again nothing working. Stupid me thought of i could buy some jewellery sell it make money to move back but not happing that why suck here for 3 years because we couldn't afford to move. I don't know what else I can do.

no hope

I'm so broken i need $1500 for caravan frame needs repairs we can't tow it and nothing I'm doing is helping  youpay said no to my Facebook page Mama Bear Fashion Accessories. 1 brought over 100 jewelry pieces to resell so we could fix caravan and have moving money so we could move back closer to families and hd doctors. I only sold 7 pieces since aug i put prices so low to get people in even have a raffle going still no luck. With my brain disease i can't work hubby my carer. All im went to have a better future for me and my kids something to get up for everyday hope for better futurea chance to change my kids lives. We can't stand it out here in the bush. Nothing to do no support 10hrs away from family. We meant be moving back once school finishes stupid my thought it was going to happen and even enrolled them into school for next year. We don't have caravan money or moving or debt paid enough we can afford a home. I don't know what to do. I'm mentally exhausted and broken i don't out of bed my darkness is bad suicidal thoughts i wish i didn't have. Thanks for the opportunity to hear my thoughts 

fuck huntingtons disease

All i do from time i wake until i go to bed all i do is lay down in bed not doing anything. I don't have room in caravan to do my crafts and always have put them away when kids come home. I lost alot of my craft things in flood. So with the crap i dont bother outside is too hot or dusty. Caravan is hot 9months of year. Freezing the rest. Being bush is horrible without a house or level ground protection for weather. Nothing to do being stuck here 3 years and no hope of leaving this place. Caravan needs thousands of dollars to fix A frame and a few other thing's   before we tow it again. Never-ending loop no money fix caravan no money to move back near family and doctors no money for bond or loan for a new home. Now i broken bone in foot i can't shower or toilet tim has to do sponge bath. All i do it cry i can't keep living this hell but no way out.

no hope

I'm really depressed today no hope no money i have huntingtons disease which is brain disease i have 10 yrs left and need to move back a get a home need the rest of our families but we are to far indebt the bank won't touch us. I need a disability home for our family no rentals to expensive no home where need to go. We live in a caravan out in the bush. No hope for better future. No matter what i try to fix our lives. Im nothing but a failure

Today is the 9th death anniversary for my mum whow had huntingtons disease. She died age 52yrs. Same horrible disease i have..but i forgot about until. 4pm today because I've been busy setting up and organising market stall too sell my jewellery product i been so focused on selling and trying to make ake money for a home. I forget it and now feel so guilty for not doing anything in her memory. I have normal traditions we do every year but not today..we live in a unfinished caravan and in the bush with bush shower. I can't live this any more keep bumping myself hurts or the falls or the hike for bush shower. We are 10hrs away from family and huntingtons disease doctors so we need to raise money to move back. I need a disability home so i want to built one for my needs or find a rental and in the market it hard to find rentals. I need lots of disability support. I tried fund raising but no one donated..so i my home made jewellery no one brought..so i thought i would buy products sell them to.make money didn't sell any on Facebook...tired to do shopify couldn't set it up and google....so organised first markets yesterday 1sale today 1 sale....i feel like a failure over and over and over again fail to be a good mum fail to provide for my kids ...my kids could have this horrible disease too... i failed mum not being there and no i failed her memory.. why because no matter how much i try i never get anywhere..im story for the long post but i thought i would post to u wonderful people...

suicide

I want to make the pain of not having my son anymore.i drove him away he lives with his aunt. I didn't have him as a baby I lost custody of him because docs. I year and a half it took me to win him back. Now February of this I lost him again I'm heartbroken I drove him away with my mental disorders. I just finished a visit I want my son back he was 15,in february.im crying it's so hard to see him have a new life. Without me. I want too pain to stop I want to kill myself to make the pain stop. Tim and the kids are hurt just as me that Byron abandoned us. If I wasn't here Tim and 4kids.would be able too live together without me in picture. Don't have funeral money. They want Tim said on last Saturday when I wanted him to take the kids to balacias party so I can kill myself and not have them find me. Living in a run down caravan not having all my kids is destroying my mental health. Not be able to afford a house to rent or buy not having all my kids is breaking my heart everyday I think about cutting my wrists a few times day. I'm on 3 depression tablets. Since I was 15 I have tried over 30 different types stay on them for months. Nothing works. I just want to end the pain. I can't do this anymore it hurts to breathe no house my eldest boy gone what the point of surviving because this is not living laying in bed all day destructing my brain..I'm going to try and buy and sell.things to make money for a home for the 6of us. I'm already selling homemade goods on my Facebook page. But really what's the point of trying to make money it not going to happen need to raise $50000 for house loan. But not going to happen since I fail at everything I touch which is why I kill myself and make Tim and kids lives better without me 

support

Im trying so hard not ask for help because my family like to not right to ask for help. Im trying to sell items for a home and none are buying i just want support that they can see im trying.

hd fucking sucks

My brain is screaming inside my head. I can't take living in ran down caravan which will never be completed. My car needs work she stuffed from pulling caravan for 4 years. Our new truck needs work to make it legal couple of grand yo fix all problems. I can't handle being out bush it's either too hot or muddy rain. I can't handle all the dirt that comes inside. Whither it's outside or inside its everywhere. I hate bush showers it's not nice too shower in dirty muddy dirt shower. It does my head in most days i don't want to shower and have a bush shower makes my head yelling crying i can't take this anymore. We can't move in house no bond rent to high not enough houses for rent around Toowoomba area. And we don't have a deposit for aboriginal house loan. Most days i just want to kill myself the madness in my head is winning. 

living in a caravan stuck in the middle of qld bush

I can't handle living in middle of bush with mud showers caravan that need work. The 27th ft isn't nearly finished it complete crap a mix so many things need fixing plus we keeping find different mess the last owner did. We just do have money. We don't have shower toliet hot water. Everything lookd shit cause need to fix most of timber. 3 yrs we have bèen travelling qld but when covid hit we were in sapphire fossicking we used all our money getting there and couldn't afford caravan park so we asked the owner on the private property if we could caretake the property. Dad went to dr about his hips they both needed replacing, we were told a year but he has been on rockhampton hospital waiting list since last yr i took h to rocky to see the doctor 1st hip will be done then he gets 6 months check up if that goes well the 1 yr they will do the 2nd hip. We still waiting. Because of covid the crappy hospital are even more crappy. Never-ending cycle. We are stuck here waiting. My depression ocd anxiety panic attacks are so out of control i have suicidal thoughts i can't handle the mess we live in it's ether sricky hot in 40 to 50 degrees or wet flooding mud. I have to walk to our bush shower in the mud i don't want to shower it's too had in my brian i even had to cut my really long hair because it wasn't getting brushed. All i do is stay in bed all day and watch tv and be on my phone because i can't handle the mess i just try to get through the day. Im not living or surviving.  We are trying to move closer to our families on Toowoomba but we can't afford rent or get a house. My eldest son was driven away by me  he started living with his aunt in Toowoomba because he said finding a job would be better in big city. But we were back tim told me that ksbyron said if it wasn't for tim byron would of left me ages ago. It breaks my heart. It still hurts all i want to be down closer to our families which both are from Toowoomba. So we can have a stable home have somewhere to park the caravan and fix it right up which would be easier if we don't have to live in while foxing it. We heard about aboriginal home loans but since we don't have deposit they haven't connected us. We didn't know we could apply. All we need is a really sml precentes . If we buy a home with the loan we could have a stable loving home and our son byron would come home. I even started a fundraising platform but nothing happrnrd. I can't live in a caravan full-time any more i need room for my disability aids i need my own bed tim could sleep in his own because iall i do is talk hit kick. I need a area to be when im sick all night and keep waking tim. I need a home with a working hot water toilet because I have dirrehea and vomiting alot from my food allergies. I need a door on my room so i can block out all the noice of kids and pets. I need area that is different from my bed to sit on. I can't handle mentally in caravan my suicidal thought are really bad. Weither its the caravan or my car or our truck something breaks. Have been so old. I need a hous4 with sound of the genie noice. All i want is home with all my kids. And tim to live out my life and let tim grow old in where our grandchildren will come over. Not much but if i don't get it soon im afraid ill kill myself. Im 38 now i will died age 50 like the rest of my hd family members. Fucking Huntington's disease is horrible thing to have.

my hair i had to cut was long but i couldn't look after anymorei will alwayss miss my hair it was my identity my whole life and my sould is broken

dream to win a home

Want too win so badly i have a brains disease callef Huntington's disease we live in a caravan full-time in thr middle of the bush sapphire qld. Can't handle being in it anymore need a home that i can have disability aids. Need a stable home for our family of 6 near Brisbane for doctors and Toowoomba for all our families. I love sunshine coast. But rental markets are why we can more back closer to doctors. I brought 30tickets for my birthday to win this is all i wanted to chance to make my dream come true to make a difference for my kids futures. Fingers crossed prayers done.

my oldest son

I don't know how i did it but i drove my son away. I'm so heartbroken he chose to life with his aunty and uncle. We feel bartered like it was there plans for awhile. I don't understand what i done i try to keep my mood swings under control i have 26+ depression tablets for 20plus years nothing works. I thought we were doing good our kids had a pretty good childhood. I hope one day he will realise that and know i love him unconditionally. 

please help us

https://www.mycause.com.au/page/275660/help-us-make-our-dream-come-true-of-buying-a-home