ruined family dinner

I don't want to live like this anymore. Uncompleted caravan broken car truck in desert. I can't do it any more, my dad depress in denial and cranky, my husband mental breakdown first in 17yrs so cranky, byron doesn't love me or give a shit about  me doesn't connect me, hermione is emotional she always bossy has to have it her way, wyatt smartarse getting tested for adhd. Annabeth is emotional and never listen. They are always fighting telling everyone what to do or not to do. Hitting picking on each other. The last 2 years since byron abandoned us all has been hell on earth. I don't know what to do anymore for all of us. I'm lost keep burning my arm instead of cutting make the feelings go away. I just want to die everyday i have this think. Living in bush with shit health care takes week and money for gp months for specialist. Fuck huntingtons disease. We don't have the money to get out. I wish i could go to sleep and never wake up. Can't even have family dinner without blowing up waste food money adults didn't eat. I'm so over this bullshit. So angry at dad and tim. Fucking hell i sick of the fighting here