The last 2 years has been hell on us. We has car troubles truck troubles caravan troubles. We haven't been able to move caravan AFrame broke. This Christmas was the 2nd without byron. He abandoned us and never coming home no matter how many times we asked him we had no control over him since he left, he doesn't connect any of us. I tried being strong but im too broken now. We live in the qld bush off grid no cooling no heating no running hot/cold water no toilet/shower inside little solar but need bigger new batteries so our fridge doesn't get warm temperature inside overnight we only have 1tiny car fan plus 2 small trough caravan our caravan isn't bug proof during the night they come through for lights tv phone screens so at night after generator's turned off at 8.30pm the bugs are annoying on our phones getting up my nose ears having to kill them instead of relaxing reading my book on my phone. During the day it the flies that are annoying wake me up in morning annoying dying day .between bugs flies spiders there is no break no relax time .not good for my mental health im not sleeping because of the heat here like having summer 9 months of the year. Im going crazy with all our money problems last year with fixing car and truck Never-ending money problems once something fixed another problem happens we missed grandma 80th birthday because we didn't have a ride down too Toowoomba Never-ending money problems we have been trying all year to fix our caravan so we can go travel see our son but as usual more problems we told rodney we were ready for our Aframe to be fixed he measured order steel which was $400 over what we thought then we had to wait for him to be free to work 2 to 3 days while he was fixing it they found crack in truck towbar so another job needed fixing all up $3000 caravan/towbar. And because we didn't have any deposit 2 weeks before Christmas tim had to sign contract saying if we don't pay by april it will be put through business at price over $4000 and handed too debt collectors. All while this was going on our fridge stopped working food was off, so we had to find caravan fridge in desert at $450 was the only one i asked person selling if we could pay off $100 aweek since it was Christmas with kids. We still have $150 to go.first Christmas photo without byron so i didn't want tim n i in it like normal. We didn't make Christmas but we left on the 28th it spend late Christmas with byron 100km from home we were towing caravan with truck we had a grinding sound tim pulled over we didn't have 3 and 4th gears it was tim gearbox so we nursed home opened it up it broken so we waiting for local truck mechanic to openup and have look and see if he can fix it or we have to order new one online. All we wanted was 2 weeks away from this hell too see our son and families. We have so many things to pay for right now and back to me plus mione 16th is April she wants to go to seaworld swim with dolphins. All these problems are here can't help but be overwhelmed and exhausted from not sleeping in this heat. I planned my suicide and even told tim wrote the notes i can't leave this hell we are trapped here and I can't take it anymore. Im done i only hope my family helps with my funeral. Im waiting for centrelink loans to pay rodney in 2 weeks than im done i was meant to have funeral insurance but it didn't happen. We were meant to be out of this hell 2 years but as always we don't achieve anything we need or want i even tried selling jewellery but sold none last year which means nobody likes it. Im over not being near family or same town of my son,or being near my doctor please physiotherapists i like, living in the bush hell nothing to do or see or bad health care systems out here. Over the heat bugs spiders snakes over incomplete caravan my ocd is not coping. My hubby even had has 1st mental breakdown last year in the 17yrs of marriage. We all over the heat and my dad bullshit he going to be forever because he can't see the real truth come up with and actual working plan he can't see the truth he believes he going to fix bus and trailer but he hasn't done in it since he first started 8years ago. He won't start now he too sick and depressed. Snaps at us all. We been here nearly 4years because of covid and both his hips need replacing but only 1 has been done. Stupid government health care system suck so bad.
So with our Never-ending problems money we tried so hard to tidy up our area and just have our caravan look after so we can leave this place for good. But nothing happens we need our caravan until we can get into disability home in Toowoomba or seq
Nobody cares i have nothing to do so i watch tv all day eat myself to death no family no friends out here i tried but no im nothing but a burden to everyone
I'm sorry im such a failure I'm sorry I'm not sorry enough
