I had a nanna nap today and I dreamt about mum and felt so empty. so much pain I woke up and started to cry. I miss mum so much it hurts. I want my mumma back. My life isn't the same without her, life goes on but how do I go on without her. I don't know what I want anymore. I keep distracting myself with things trying to sort what I want but feel empty and lost without mum. I keep getting sick, so I have time to think. I think I need to take time out and think about myself and my family. I don't spend a lot of time with my kids, that is the first thing to change. My house is getting painted and organized. scouts is wonderful and finally have friends. but I feel unimportant with some people and that needs fixing.