Monday, February 17, 2014

missing mum 2

I feel really guilty and sad today. Woke up and thought of mum straight away and thought what have I done. I wish I didn't choose my choice with regards to mum. guilty because I wasn't there for mum when she needed me. guilt over not seeing her weight lose like to should have, I did ask for a dietician but it never came and now I have no mum and I feel sad like nothing else matters. I can stand to live the rest of my life without my beautiful mother. I can't remember her voice and want to hear it again so badly. Crying again, It's my fault she was in hospital and died because I didn't see her for 6 weeks prier to her being in hospital. I miss her so much and tell my kids that all the time but they never say anything back to me. Life sucks without mum and our visits to see her weekly or more. Always in my heart mum love jay your loser daughter